Didn’t start out too bad. I made BBQ ribs for lunch and Richard said my pork-fu was the best. I didn’t argue. He was also working on the kid’s computer having done that all weekend. He set it up so the kid can watch his DVDs on his computer. Nice, right? The kid didn’t even blink. He was complaining about not watching “his” cartoon. I despise Kappa Mikey. Scratch that. It’s a funny cute show that even adults can get a laugh out of but when your kid is bitching about wanting to watch it and you’ve decided he isn’t you really start hating it.
Richard and I were talking about something and the kid ran in having been in his room. He said something about toothpaste and his room. R and I looked at each other and knew something was wrong. It was awful. The brat had taken my Theragesic and spread most of it (hell almost all of it) on the carpet of his room. (Note: He had enough sense not to eat that strange smelling shit.) Not only was it on the carpet but he evidently had squeezed the tube and slung it around the room. My patience level had dropped to near zero level. After explaining to him that he not only would not be watching Kappa Mikey but he’d lost TV for the rest of the week we ran him out of the room so we could clean. We ended up cleaning up the excess and shampooed his carpet. Something I hadn’t intended to do today thank you very much.
In the process of cleaning his room we discovered that he’d gotten it all over the catfish pillow. I loved that pillow. Richard bought it for me to sleep with when I was pregnant… he couldn’t find a body pillow. The kid loved it too. He used to drag it around by it’s whiskers. As much as I hated doing it I told Richard to take it out to the garbage. I admit I was really upset. I even cried.
Not only had the kid destroyed what I use for my hands and feet when the arthritis is driving me nuts but he made a mess in his room, fought me over bathing, he’d destroyed something that I loved.
There was also an incident involving his not wanting a bath, his ezcema would have been irritated by the crap, I didn’t take no for an answer.
There will be no TV of any kind in my house for a week. I may need therapy due to all the whining and complaining after this week but he’s going to learn a lesson from this fiasco.
October 4th, 2007 at 11:33 pm
I have to write in response to your post about what happened with your “kid”
What I have used for years in a addressing behavior like this is the following.
First - With this kind of child, it is evident to me that to much talking has been used with him
Second - the “cure” when a child is doing a behavior outside the what is acceptable in your family, gently but firmly hold both of the sweetheart’ :razz:s wrist and keep your mouth shut until the sweetheart starts to struggle and wants to be let loose. At that point say “I am not holding you, your behavior is!” Then you require an answer to the following question “If you can tell me what is another CHOICE you could have made and will make instead of what you actually did, I will let you go. Usually the kid will struggle to get loose, but be firm and hold on until a new choice is made.
It is very important that little or no language be used in the future in dealing with out of bounds behaviors. It is also very important to repeat the holding of the wrist etc every time.
I guarantee that after a few times, the child will automatically start telling an alternate choice. And after that,you will notice that proper choices will be made and a new child will emerge.
The positive intent of what is happening now is that the mind of any child THAT THINKS IT IS BEING IGNORED, will act out in some way. To the human mind, negative attention is better than no attention.
Make sure that you notice and reward proper behavior in your family system.