5/6/06:
______: Hello xxx xxxxx office.
xxx xxxxxxxxx: Hello this is Mr.xxxxxxxxx in apt xxxx x. We were wondering if you were ever going to send the exterminator to treat for termites in our apartment.
______: Well.. uuhhh.. I don’t really know. Let me see if we have you on the list.
Sound: Gum popping
xxx xxxxxxxxx: What?!?! We called a month ago and we called again 3 weeks ago!
______: Ummm…. it’s not written down…
xxx xxxxxxxxx: FUCK!!!!!
Sound of head being banged against wall. Frustration(?)
5/11/06:
______: How are you feeling, xxx?
xxx xxxxxxxxx: The arthritis is kicking my ass and I’ve got these rough scaley
patches on my knees. With my luck I’ve picked up some dread disease but I’ll survive. How bout
you?______: Tired. Meds aren’t working. They’re going to do another test after having run the other
twenty-eight and finding nothing. Doctors suck. How is xxxxxx?xxx xxxxxxxxx: He’s fine but I swear if I hear one more word about
mammoths I’m going to slam my head into a brick wall!______: Did you have a chance to try xxxxx yet?
xxx xxxxxxxxx: Yes! Thanks for telling me about it! It really gets skidmarks out of underwear!
5/12/06
________: This is an automated bill paying service of the phone company. Press 1 for english now.
xxx xxxxxxxxx: Muttering:I hate these fucking things…
________: To pay your bill over the phone, press 2.
xxx xxxxxxxxx: *sigh*
________: Please say the amount you wish to pay in dollars and cents now.
xxx xxxxxxxxx: Seventy Dollars thirty five cents
________: I’m sorry I didn’t catch that. Please try again. Please say the amount you wish to pay in dollars and cents.
xxx xxxxxxxxx: I said
ssssssssseeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeennnnnnnnnntttttttyyy fffffiiiiiiivvvvvveeeee dollars and
tttttttthhhhhhhhhiiiiiiirrrrrrrrtttttttyyyyyyyy five FUCKING cents!!!________: I’m sorry I didn’t catch that. Please try again. Please say the amount you wish to pay
in dollars and cents.xxx xxxxxxxxx: Seventyfivedollarsandthirtyfivecentsyoustupidassedcomputerizedvoice!
________:You are paying seventy five dollars and thirty five cents. If that is correct, press 1.
Let em listen I say! Worst comes to worst at least they’ll be able to get the skidmarks out of their shorts…