MOAB

The other night the kid and I were sitting here goofing around, it was around 2:30 I think and I nearly crapped my pants when I heard gunshots outside. It sounded so close I told the kid to hit the floor.. I called Richard and he asked me if it could have been fireworks.

Nope. 6 pops close together. I know gunfire. That was a gun. It was too rapid to be fireworks.

This complex was so laid back when we moved in it was boring.

Going on eight years now and it’s like the goddamned OK Corral.

I think my blood pressure might have been a tad elevated that night.

They turned my bathroom into a total disaster area. We’re going to have to buy a new toilet seat because they got something on this one that I can’t get off. They slung sludge and muck all over the bathroom. Hubby told them that I had just cleaned it from top to bottom.

One of them had the nerve to walk in and tell me if I had a towel he’d wipe things up. I kept from strangling him. Thanked him but told him no. THEN I saw the room. A freaking TOWEL wasn’t going to clean up that mess. I’m going to have to get out the big guns (chemicals) tomorrow night when Richard is at work. He can’t handle the chemical smell.

What was it that blocked the drain? A fucking sock. Evidently someone thinks it’s tres chic to bathe using their socks. Of course this is mild in comparison to the time the plumber found a zorro type mask. Richard took it to the people upstairs and the woman grabbed it saying it was hers. Then she told him she and her husband had been playing some kind of sex game in the tub and that was how she lost it. You’d think she wouldn’t volunteer that information to a total stranger but she did. Eewww.

We have and have had “lovely” neighbors since we’ve lived here

This is getting damned old. I worked so hard in that bathroom yesterday. Everything I did will be ruined! Fuck!

Our bathroom. The plumber was back today. It was a different one and the kid and I were still asleep since we’d been up all night. Richard volunteered to stay up and deal with it. The bathtub was still backing up. At first I thought it was my imagination. I’d walk in there and there was this gunk on the bottom of the tub. Then it happened again last night. Anyway, this plumber was hilarious. He was running an auger to clean out the drain and when he’d “push” hard he’d yell like a woman in labor. lol He made an unholy mess. Dirt in the tub, on the floor, our shower curtain was down, etc. I made the decision to clean the bathroom after he’d left.

I spent about two hours in there deep cleaning. Taking one break because all the hot water was steaming up the joint and I was burning up. I tossed our toilet brush. I really don’t think I should have to clean something that is meant for cleaning. I mean really. So I put on a pair of rubber gloves, picked up a scrubber, and dove in. I’ll admit I gulped hard but then remembered that the water was clean. It had been flushed and it wasn’t that dirty. Scrubbed the toilet inside and out. Scrubbed the floor around the toilet while I was waiting for the hot water and spic and span in the tub to get that crap loosened up the plumber had left.

I basically did a complete cleaning except for a couple of things I need to wait for Richard to be out of the house for.. he’s sensitive to chemical fumes. The room smells great. Which brings up
a question.

Earlier today we got the joy of smelling what can only be called human shit. At first I thought maybe one of the cats had done something and not covered it up. It wasn’t. It smelled like someone had done it right next to a vent for God’s sakes. It was horrendous. I told Richard that if it smelt that bad in our apt they damned sure needed medical attention. Ye gods.. it was awful. What was worse was the perfume laden air freshener they tried to cover it up with later. Gave me a headache.

Look you can spray that shit and it’s not going to get rid of the smell. It covers it up and that’s all. I’ve got a spray bottle that has 2 cups of warm water, 1 tsp baking soda, and 1 tbsp lemon juice in it. Shake it up and spray it where needed and it kills the smell. Yes, you have to be careful where you spray it but it doesn’t suffocate your neighbors or drive those with allergies insane. .

Forget books, forget buddy programs, forget all of it!

If you watch a few episodes of “How clean is your house?” you won’t need all of that… the absolute horror of the houses shown will force you from your chair to clean every bloomin’ thing in sight. And if you think your house is dirty you’ll learn that you’re wrong.

It’s a reality show of course. Some of the homeowners featured are suffering from what has to be OCD. Some have had events in their lives that caused them to let cleaning slide (divorce, health, other). Some are just plain old fashioned bonkers. And some are just godawful pigs.

It’s shown on BBC America and there are some episodes on youtube.

You don’t want to eat while you watch it. There were two on ytube that had me gagging.

They were done in an american version of the show. Both from California. One a health fanatic. You know, gym class, running, only putting healthy food into her temple. My ASS! Her refrigerator was a freakin biohazard! Her kitchen was a disaster area and the bimbo didn’t take the time to put her precious sugar free gum in the trash after finishing with it. She put it EVERYWHERE! She lived in an incredibly expensive condo and she had trashed the damned thing.

The next one was a wannabe CHEF/CATERER who had maggots in her kitchen and had the friggin nerve to be shocked and scream when she saw them. It boggles the mind that people will probably be eating food she’s made. I can understand a fly getting in during the summer (I hate the damned things) and it happening by accident. But this wasn’t like that. Her kitchen was piled high with dirty dishes, her fridge was another example of a biohazard (think E-Coli), and the stovetop was damned near black. I wouldn’t eat anything she touched after watching that. *Shudder*

And the hypocrisy of some of them. You have a house that’s a biological toxic dump yet you refuse to use chemical cleaning products or want only eco-friendly cleaning products? Jesus!

It makes you think of people differently and you look at houses differently too. It might be a 500,000 house on the outside but it might be hiding a hell hole of epic proportions on the inside.

OMG, I have to go wash my hands and clean something!

What a day.

The child has decided that he wants to stay up all night now. This is after having tried it before and his choosing to raise a stink about it. Now I’ve got to get used to staying up all night again. I haven’t got a problem with it. It makes more sense considering Richard’s hours. There won’t be any going back this time. I’m too old for this shit..

After crawling out of my very warm room around 1:30 Richard went to bed and I started trying to do my daily crap. I didn’t get very far. The bug lady dropped by to treat the kitchen. Our neighbors evidently have a roach problem. Their little friends sneak over onto our side every once in awhile and I scare the living shit out of them and they go flying back to the other side. I felt the need to apologize for what I thought was a crappy apartment. She looked around and grinned and told me she’d been in some really dirty apartments today and that mine was CLEAN. That was nice to hear… and frightening. Now I understand the roach problem. Ugh.

About an hour later I wandered into the bathroom to do something and low and behold our bathtub was full. We hadn’t done anything in there… someone decided to take a shower upstairs and our bathtub backed up. Oh joy. I gritted my teeth and stuck my hand into the water to see if I could do something about it. I can clean up vomit and shit but I swear to god I HATE sticking my hands into someone else’s warm bath water! Ick!!!

Called the office and the plumber showed up. Took him awhile and he had to fight it but he fixed it along with tracking god knows what through the apartment and my bathroom. Ugh. Richard goes back to bed wanting me to get him up at 10 so he can eat.

Eh… bugs… dirty bath water… now I have to think about FOOD? I guess it’ll be butterflied pork chops, broccoli, and a salad. I think.

I read all the time about the “epidemic of obesity” among children and I’m shocked. I’ve got a 7 year old Son who doesn’t know the meaning of the words slow down, sit down, be still, etc. I have trouble keeping weight ON him. He runs it all off.

Richard and I both are overweight. We both started out as skinny kids. When I was a kid I had long thin legs, knobby knees, like I said I was skinny. (I have pics that prove it!) I also had that whole Laura Ingalls Wilder thing going on. Long hair braided into pigtails, freckles, goofy teeth. lol It was scarey.

What is it with kids nowadays?

They’ve got mp3 players, they’re online, they have video games, and for the life of me I can’t understand this one… they have freakin cell phones. *I* don’t have a cell phone. Please don’t tell me they need them for an “ermergency”. They have these things you put little round things in, they’re called coins, and then you punch the numbers and hear ringing and then usually a voice answers on the other end. You know… payphones. All of us old farts used them back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth. When I see Buffy walking around Walmart yakking at Tiffany about her latest boyfriend I wonder if Mom or Dad have any idea what these kids are doing with those cell phones. Sigh…

I know. I sound like a 100 year old woman complaining. Well dammit it’s the truth. Some of these kids have been coddled and given everything they want to the point that they will barely be able to function in a lot of ways when we dinosaurs have ambled off to the great rainforest in the sky.

How in the hell did I go from talking about fat kids to kids with cell phones?

I hear mr. bed calling my name… I’m getting goofy.

My Son has been going non-stop all damned day long!

The endless chatter… 90mph with his hair on fire all day long.

And I swear if he turns up the volume on the television one more time after I turn it down..

I wasn’t happy when he was sick because he was so quiet.

God, could he be retro-fitted with a mute button? Please!?!?!

And I never will be. I can’t get into the highly structured regimented time thing. I hate that crap. I’m also not into lace up shoes. Hell, I’m not into wearing shoes at all. Everything I do is done barefoot. Oh I wear something to take out the trash but beyond that I feel more comfortable barefoot. Even in the middle of winter.

The whole laying out your clothes the night before thing won’t work for me either. When I wake up in the morning the first thing on my agenda is a gasping run for the bathroom in which I usually run face first into some wall. Hey, I’m still asleep at that point. Then I come slowly out, moving like a tree sloth, with one eye half open thinking of nothing but caffeine. No not coffee… Dr Pepper. I usually turn towards the kitchen then remember I should get dressed. With that one eye still half open I quietly go into my room and dig through my dresser until I find my “uniform” for the day. Underwear, shorts and a tank top. I pull them on nearly falling on the floor most mornings. (I used to be a morning person but that changed sometime around my birthday. Go figure.) I then work my way back to where I was originally headed. The kitchen and Dr Pepper. After getting something to drink I stumble to my computer and flop into my chair. I then sit there stareing at my computer waiting for it to come on not realizing I haven’t turned the damned thing on yet. I turn it on and read news for an hour, check mail, etc. By then that one eye is completely open. It takes another 3 hours for the other one to open.

So you can see that I’m not flylady material. Kate seems to have some of it down. After reading her post I think I could do the 15 minute timed thing. I might have to try it.

I think.

I had secretly hidden a handful of them in a container with other pens and pencils to use for school. My Son, who can’t seem to keep track of his own, spotted them the other night. My pen radar went off like a claxon. I thought oh boy… here we go.

He snatched them out of the container telling me they were his. I reached out to take them back saying they were mine. (This probably sounds familiar for those Mothers out there who have siblings.) We ended up in an all out tug of war over MY dry erase markers. “Mine!” I whimpered. “Mine” he uttered. It went on for about 5 minutes. Then I suggested he find his school pouch. His markers are in it. He claimed not to know where it was. Rolling my eyes almost to the back of my head I said riiiighhhhtt. I walked
over and pulled his leap frog off of it. Lifting it to show him what I’d found. He dropped MY markers and grabbed his and went off to happily draw his woolly mammoths.

What has made me post about it is that last night he patted my cheek and told me I’m his favorite girl. Then he made a comment about being my BROTHER. lol

I can’t imagine how he’d get that idea…. do you?

I straightened him out about it and he was fine with being “my child” as he put it. lol